ALL JOKES ASIDE, Ethiopia is one of the most beautiful and culturally rich countries in the world but we have our funny ways when it comes to.... 20 ways you know that you are an abesha!
1) When you are super cold, the 1st thing that comes to mind and you scramble to is a good ole fashion "Gabi"
Why not just grab a sweater or order some snuggie blankets!
2) When you first move to Atlanta every family you talk to suggest that you go visit Stone Mountain Park
Why not take me to Magic City and let me man up!
3) When you know your ass can eat enjera for breakfast, lunch and Dinner and feel quite satisfied with the outcome not to mention your entire house, your couch, Xmas sweaters you received all smell like onions and garlic
Why not start out with an English muffin or frosted flakes?
4) When you are invited to someone's house and you are asked to dbl up on the food entree and you tell your host to be modest, "no thanks”,"I just ate an hour ago" knowing your ass is lying and wants more
geez...why not just say hell ya!
5) When you are young and everything in your life is all about books, library, studying, reading, education and that’s all your parents cared about!
geez... lol shooooo can a brother get a chance to go holla at some girls or play sports or something!
6)when eskeste is the one and only dance that is allowed, appreciated, and manifested on the dance floor
jeez... sometimes a brotha want to do some perculator, Jersey Shore Fist pump, dougie, perk or just simply walk it out
7) When you are bad a little kid, the form of punishments all start with the letter "K"
(Kuntecha, kebeto or KurKum)
jeez.... switch it up sometimes guys take my game boy away or send me to my room like Americans do so I can watch my TV and think about what I did wrong on my own or at least let me choose Kuntecha today cuz dam I got a headache and I don’t feel like taking a head pounding...lol
8) When watching news, CNN, Peter Jennings, Larry King Live is religiously done daily and everything revolves around.
geezz...Can we watch BET or MTV countdown for a change?
9) When you put mitmita or awaze on everything you eat, I mean everything....
geez.. Can we all try Heinz 57, A-1, Grey Pupon or just Ketchup for God's sakes?
11) When an unexpected guest comes over and your ass just does not want to cook nor go out of your way to host and (you are thinking in your head) ohh no, hell to the No! ...not today... and you serve them a big bowl of Kolo and keep serving them that over and over and over again till they feel that they had enough
geezzz....just postpone that dam thing!
12) When showing your report card to your parents is a Super Bowl Event..Anticipation and all the work throughout the semester comes down to that day
geeeezz ...Please brace for impact and don’t worry about the trophies this year Mom and Pops,.
13) When dressing up, you are required to tuck your shirt, pants all the way to your chest like Erckel will make us look smarter?
geeezz... i want to sag some days
14) When you have to greet elders by saying ababa, emamam, ereso, endemenote and just nodding your up and down slowly multiple times?
geeez... i get the respect thing but dang, honestly I don’t even know these people, I just want to say hello
15) When every older generation starts asking you meche newe Ethiopia metehedue lemene eza atenorem?
geezzz...you know I kind like my cell phone, my MTV countdowns, NFL's Sundays, going to Happy Hours at Dave & Busters, my twitter accounts, cruising on the highways, poppin mascato's splurge Ga Power, Comcast and have Authorities on my speed dial when things go south...geezzz how come your ass aint over there? huh?
16)When we are all eating, a thoughtful joker wants to give you some guresha and "demands" that you eat it even when you are content and when you hesistate or refuse they are not taking No for an answer. In fact they go furthur in breaking down the culture.. ante newerenew... nah gurese. ye tabatkene...then you agree and take a bite and reply back while eating"eshi amesegenalewy" then it does not stop there they will get cultural on you.....they request you gear up for seconds and thirds...nahe bela endegeanh 2Hulete yateatalale 3Soste yasaferal 4Arate yasabedale ...
geez....you are like " dam bro" I am good! I am full dam It.... it becomes a sticky situation
17)When there is a huge get together after a meal, normally a mom with her sisters or friends comes out with a Made in Ethiopia Coffee Pot with like 15 jr baby coffee mugs for coffee.
geeez...2 problems here)
1) I am used to a Large Latte at Starbucks.So how is that little bitty ass cup of ethiopian coffee going to do for me..how the hell is that going to wake my ass up??
2)Boy the room is full of smoke! it feels like someone just dentated an IED improvised explosive devise and the room is intoxicating with a cloud of smoke. you forget whether you are in the US or some Torah Borah mountains in Afghanistan...as a kid there was several times where my ass almost passed out. poor Dochiye,,,mind you with curly hair!
18) When at a huge Wedding, all the food entree's has a mass shit load of Butter in them.
geez...I mean all that Cholestral. and then when you are battling eskesta in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by your family and friends cheering you on, you are sweating like there is no tommorrow but back of your mind you are like dam this shit is slowing me down geez...Its a wedding for god's sakes do you really wanna give someone a stroke...
19)When at christmas, your neigbor's front yard (all the trees, bushes, garage, front door and mailbox is lit with just maginificant amount of christmas lights on it whereby their electric bill for the month is in the tune of $600+
geez...abesha;s yard is just naked! we may own a scarecrow becuase we come from an agricultural background and we are conservative. we will try to settle the score with GA power for a bill amount no greater than $75...
20)When you entrust all your life's savings, stocks, bonds, social security, medicare medicaid, IRA's, retirement, vacation and etc on an old stinkin MULE that hates your ass because you overwork the hell out of him....
geeez....I mean its 2011lets invent something for crying out loud and just send your mule to Sodereah for a vacation!
